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Bugno sa iro / Dog fight Jokes

Bugno sa iro / Dog fight


Bisaya version


Dihay contest sa binugnuay og iro didto sa New York.


Tanang bagis nga iro miapil. Ang gisalmot sa Pilipinas bisaya nga daut kayo, mutaon pa gyud.

Pero pagbugno na, isog kaayo ang bisaya. Gipamaak ang mga pit bull, german sheperd, doberman ug uban pang iro nga mas daku pa niya. Daug dayon ang bisaya. Gipangutana ang tag-iya sa iro sa mga reporter unsang klasehang iro iyang gi-enterMitobag ang tag-iya: IRONG BOANG!


Ni Absent Jokes




Bisaya version:

LOLO: apo,tago kai naa imo teacher, ni absent raba ka!
APO: lo, tago pud kai ako raba ge ingnan ni absent ko kai NAMATAY KA..
hahahaha! 



Doctor og ang Lola - Doctor and Grandma Jokes



Bisaya Version

Babaye: Patsek-ap mi Dok.
Doktor: Sige huboa ang panty ug bra unya higda.
Babaye: Dili man ako, ang ako mang Lola.
Doktor: Sige Lola, ginhawa og lawom!
Lola: Di ko maghubo Dok?
Doktor: Ginhawa! Gahig ulo!

Langyaw - Overseas Worker Jokes



Bisaya Version


Si Ramon, nga bag-ong abot sa Qatar. Nangita og trabaho didtos Doha. Unya iyang nakita si Iko nga silingan niya sa una sa Davao...

Iko: Bay Ramon, kumusta na. Hai ka man nagtrabaho ron?

Ramon: Sa PNB ko, Bay.

Iko: Naa bay PNB dinhi sa Doha?

Ramon: Naa man. Kanang PIRMING NAAS BAY ba.

pinangutana pud ni Ramon...

Ramon: Ikaw, Bay, hai ka man magtrabaho?

Iko: Sa SSS ko Bay.

Ramon: Sa SSS??? wa baya ko kadungog ana diri?

Iko: SIGING SUROY SUROY ba...


Take Advantage Interview Jokes


Take Advantage Interview Jokes

Bisaya Version:

Usa ka boss mi-interview sa upat ka babaye ug gihatagan ug usa ka pangutana para sa ilang upat....
Boss: A woman normally have lips in two different places. What is the difference between the two?
Girl 1: Ang usa daghang buhok, ang usa wala.
Boss: ok....good!
Girl 2: Ang usa makasulti, ang usa dili.
Boss: that's better.
Girl 3: Ang usa vertical ug ang usa horizontal.
Boss: hmm.. clever!
Girl 4: Ang usa para sa akong pagkaon, ang usa naman para sa akong boss.

Boss: You are hired!!!


Ang Itlog sa Pari - The egg of the Priest Jokes



Bisaya Version:

Naa tuy pari, nagpalit siya og itlog sa kilid. Hapit naman mo start ang misa, gi butang niya ang itlog sa daplin. Gi ablihan ang gate, pagbalik sa pari para kuhaon ang itlog, nahibung siya nganong nawala.

Nagsugod ang misa......

Ana ang pari:

"Kinsay naay itlog"
Nanindog ang mga lalaki

"Dili, kinsay nakakita og itlog"
Nanindog ang mga babae

"Ay sus ginoo ko, kinsay nakakita sa akong ITLOG"
Nanindog ang mga madre

Gi Imbestigar - Investigation Case Jokes



Bisaya Version:


ATTY: asa ka pagkahitabo sa rape?

JUN: sa kamaisan
ATTY: nag-unsa ka didto?
JUN: nalibang!
ATTY: pila ka kadupa gikan sa krimen?
JUN: naa bay malibang magdupa-dupa?… .Ayaw pagbugal-bugal torni uy!

Di Ako Na Ka Una - Im Not the first One



Bisaya Version:


On wedding night, man asks wife: “Abe nako pirst boyprin ko nimo? nganong dili naman ka birjin?”
WIFE: “Ikaw jud akong pirst boyprin,,ang uban, costumers ra to nako pod. Honest pa, More pa!” nyahahaha

Kuripot Kaayu na Byuda - Greedy Widowed Wife

One of the best BISDAK pinoy jokes of all time

Nabukol - Swell in the head

Bisaya Version:


Mrs. Tanoy is a very kuripot. When her husband died, she inquired with the newspaper, asking the price for the obituary.
The ad taker said: "300 pesos for 5 words."
She said: "Pwede ba 2 words lang? "Tanoy dead""
Ad taker: "No mam. 5 words jud ang minimum."
After thinking for a while, Mrs. Tanoy said: "Ok, para sulit jud, ibutang nimo,

"TANOY DEAD, TOYOTA FOR SALE " 

Sa Baylihan - Dance Floor Jokes

One of the best BISDAK pinoy jokes of all time.

Sa Baylihan - Dance Floor Jokes

Bisaya Version:

Sa usa ka baylihan, dihay usa ka gwapong laki ni dool sa usa ka babae og gipangutani ang babae; mosayaw ka dai?
Ang babae perting lipaya nga dihay laki mi dool og makig sayaw ka niya;
Babae: "Oo" musayaw ko.
Lalaki: Maayo hinoon, pwede naku kwa-on imong gilingkuran ig sayaw nimo?



Pasweto Swetohay - Pretending and Assuming

One of the best BISDAK pinoy jokes of all time


Pasweto Swetohay - Pretending and Assuming


Bisaya Version:

Tasyo: Unsa may pangalan sa operasyon para sa appendicitis?
Jose: Sayon ra ana. Apendectomy!
Tasyo: Sa tonsillitis?
Jose: Di, tonsillectomy.
Tasyo: Sa Bad Breath?
Jose: Way operasyon para sa bahog baba, Bay!
Tasyo: Naa Bay. Gitawag kana og "Dont Talk To Me!"


Kugmo - Booger Jokes

One of the best BISDAK pinoy jokes of all time

Kugmo - Booger

Bisaya Version:

KUGMO


Mahibaw-an nimo imong sakit pina-agi sa imong kugmo.

Kung tam-is, DIABETIC
Kung aslom, HYPER-ACIDIC
Kung pait, SAKIT SA ATAY
kung tilawan nimo, naa kay sakit sa utok.


Nabukol - Swell in the head

One of the best BISDAK pinoy jokes of all time

Nabukol - Swell in the head

Bisaya Version:



Kulas: Nganong nabukol man na imong ulo, Bay?
Badoy: Nangharana man gud ko gabii didto sa ilang Marilou, Bay Kulas. Pagsugod nako'g kanta, giitsahan dayon ko ni Marilou ug buwak.
Kulas: Pero nganong nabukol man ka?
Badoy: Ang buwak gisud man gud ug kaang.



Sa baka Lang Na - To the Cows

One of the best BISDAK pinoy jokes of all time

Sa Baka Na lang

Bisaya Version:

Conduktor : Sibog-sibog gamay kay mularga na ta. Kanang imong anak, 'Noy, sa BAKA lang na. 
Amahan : Nabuang na! Nisakay gani mi kay nagdali unya sa BAKA na 
hinuon nimo pasakyon akong anak ?!!! 



Tagalog Version:

Conduktor: Urong lang po tayu ng kunti. Yun anak mo po tatang! sa baka (Baka means Cow in bisaya) na lang yan.
Tatay: Sira kaba! sumakay nga kami dahil nag mamadali tapos pasakayin mo yun anak ko sa
Baka?

Install the funniest Bisdak Funniest Jokes on GOOGLE PLAY 




Joke Joke Jokes

This will Make Your Day.

1. Why is Brain Like This? You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.


2. Take Advantage
Boy: I'll pay you 10 bucks to climb up the flagpole.

Girl: ok.(climbs the flagpole)

Girl: Mommy Mommy a boy paid me 10 bucks to climb the flagpole. Mom: He just wanted to see your underwear!


...Next Day...

(Same boy): I'll pay you 20 BUCKS to climb the flagpole!
Girl: OK thanks! (climbs the flagpole)
Girl: Mommy Mommy today the boy paid me 20 BUCKS for climbing the flagpole, but today I tricked him this time I wasn't wearing underwear.
Mom:...☺️



Install the funniest Bisdak Funniest Jokes on GOOGLE PLAY 


3. Two Schoolmate joking and teasing
Peter : your teeth is like our exams
Bruno: How come why?
Peter: see your teeth is"on seat apart"
Bruno:Same as yours
Peter: and why? your teeth is like "Feel in the blanks"😉

4. Wife's Birthday

JUAN: Its my wife's birthday
PEDRO: So whats your gift to her?
JUAN: I've ask her what she likes
PEDRO: Then what she said?
JUAN: Anything that has diamond
PEDRO: And then what you give to her?
JUAN: Playing cards!!!😊

Super Funny Bisaya to English Jokes

You can't stop laughing Bisdak to English Jokes

A fast beating heart doesn't
always mean Love...
A blushing face is not always
a sign that your inlove
sometimes HUBOG LANG! hahaha

*Englih Version
What is Love
A fast beating heart doesn't\nalways mean Love...
A blushing face is not always
A sign that your inlove\nsometimes It's just drunk! hahaha

Lolo and Lola having their breakfast in bed after s3x.
Lola: Kahibaw ka handtod karun nanginit gihapon akong dughan.
Lolo: Alangan man og dili mo init imo 2toy na ka tunlob man sa kape,

English Version
Granpa and Grandma having their breakfast in bed after s3x.
Grandma: You know what my breast still in hit after what we did.
Granpa: Off course it still in hit look at your breast it touches the coffee you've drink.

Cofeee:\nGranpa and Grandma having their breakfast in bed after s3x.\nGrandma: You know what my breast still in hit after what we did.\nGranpa: Off course it still in hit look at your breast it touches the coffee you\'ve drink.

Isa ka adlaw usa ka lalaki na paskil of Ad sa classifieds: "Wife Wanted"
Kina ugmaan nakadawat og daghan sulat. Og parehus tanan ila sulti "Pwede akong asawa"

English Version*
A man inserted an "ad" in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."\nNext day he received a hundred letters.\nThey all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Boy: "70 grado naku sa math"
Father: "Nganu man"
Boy: "Ang maestra nisulti pila 3 x 2, ingun ko "6"
Father: "Btaw sakto man!"
Boy: "Human nangutan napod siya usab 2 x 3?"
Father: "Unsa man diay kalahian ana?"
Boy: "Mao btaw pod na ako tubag!"

English Vesrion*
Boy: "I got an F in arithmetic."
Father: "Why?"
Boy: "The teacher asked 'How much is 2×3?' and I said '6'"
Father: "But that's right!"
Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3×2?'"
Father: "What's the fucking difference?"
Boy: "That's exactly what I said!"

Boyet: Taga-an ka naku og 10 Pesos kun makasaka kadinha sa flagpole
Inday: OO cg
Inday: Ma Ma kadtong bata gi tagaan ko 10 Pesos pasak-on rako sa flagpole
Mama: Naunsa man ka na, mi lantaw to sa imo panty.
-Pagka ugma-
Boyet: Gaan tika 20 Pesos kun makasaka ka dinha sa flagpole
Inday: Oo ba!
Inday: Ma Ma kadto bata gi gaan ko 20 Pesos pasak-on sa flagpole, pero karun ako siyang naisahan, kay nisaka ko wala ko ga panty.
Mama: BUTANGI!

*English Version
Boy: I'll pay you 10 bucks to climb up the flagpole.
Girl: ok.(climbs the flagpole)
Girl: Mommy Mommy a boy paid me 10 bucks to climb the flagpole. Mom: He just wanted to see your underwear!
...Next Day...
(Same boy): I'll pay you 20 BUCKS to climb the flagpole!
Girl: OK thanks! (climbs the flagpole)
Girl: Mommy Mommy today the boy paid me 20 BUCKS for climbing the flagpole, but today I tricked him this time I wasn't wearing underwear.
Mom:...

2 Schoolmates joking and teasing

2 Schoolmates joking and teasing

“Duha ka lalaki”
Dunky: Dingdong, pang exam man kayo na emong ngipon..
Dingdong: Ha? Ngano man?
Dunky: One set apart hehehe…
Dingdong: Kana pud emong ngipon bai pang exam pud kayo
Dunky: Ngano man pud?
Dingdong: Feel in the blanks..

*English Version*
Two Schoolmate joking and teasing
Peter: your teeth is like our exams
Bruno: How come why?
Peter: see your teeth is "on seat apart"
Bruno: Same as yours
Peter: and why?
Bruno: your teeth is like "Feel in the blanks"

Stupid Bisdak Funny Jokes


Jokes that will make you laugh out loud

1. Pasyente lain ang IIyang kalibang / Patient having bowel problem

Payente: Dok naa ko problema murag di ko gakahilisan kung mo kaun kung mais, mais pa gihapon inig akong ikalibang. Mukaun kung mani, mani pa gihapon inig kalibang, mo kaun kog bayabas, bayabas pa gihapon akong ikalibang? unsa may akong buhaton dok?


Doc: simple ra na, kaun ug tae para tae na gyud imong ikalibang...

*English Version
Patient: Doc, I have a problem, whenever I eat corn my stool is still corn. And if ever I eat guava still guava will comes out. Doc what shall I do? 

Doctor: Simple, eat shit instead surely shit will comes out.


2. Quote of confidence
Ayaw gyud hunahuna-a na bati ka'og Nawong. Hunahuna-a na isa ka na maanyag na unggoy.
**English Version*
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.😆😄




3. Baraha / Playing Cards
JUAN: birthday sa akong asawa.
PEDRO: unsa imo gift?
JUAN: ask ko unsa iya gusto.
PEDRO: unsa man giingon?
JUAN: bisan unsa daw basta naa DIAMOND.
PEDRO: unsa imong gi hatag?
JUAN: BARAHA!!!!!

JUAN: Its my wife's birthday
PEDRO: So whats your gift to her?
JUAN: I've ask her what she likes
PEDRO: Then what she said?
JUAN: Anything that has diamond
PEDRO: And then what you give to her?
JUAN: Playing cards!!!



4. Your looks like a Monkey


BOTYOK: pre, ngano ingon ka nawong kog ungoy?
BRUNO: wa ko nag ingon na nawong kag ungoy,akong ingon ang ungoy parihog nawong nimo.
BOTYOK: aw lagi klaroha bah!

BOTYOK: Bro, why you told me that I look like a monkey?
BRUNO: I didnt say you like like a monkey, what I said is that the monkey looks like you!
BOTYOK: Í see Now, its clearer.😎





Naa koy amiga si Gemma Eloc
Kaslonon sya ni Edgar Cabahug.
Wala madayon ilang kasal kay
wala sila kauyon sa invitation card:
"CABAHUG-ELOC nuptial"
English Version*
I have a friend named Gemma Eloc
Shes'going to be marred to Edgar Cabahug
The wedding is off, they didn't like the invitation card:it says
"CABAHUG-ELOC" "therefore in English "Bad smelling armpi

Lain Napod na Bisdak Jokes - Very Funny Bisaya Jokes

Makalingaw makawala sa laay


1. ANDIR-DI-SAYA

Kulas: Bay Tasyo, matod sa mga silingan andir-di-saya man kuno ka.

Tasyo: Unsay andir-di-saya nga bag-o lang nakong gikasab-an ang akong misis!

Kulas: Ngano man?

Tasyo: Gisugo man ko niya sa pamalantsa. Mao nga akong gisinghagan ug UNYA RA KAY MAGLUTO PA KO!!

* English Version *

Kulas: Bro Tasyo, our neighbor said that you're frighten and scared with your wife!, It's that true? 

Tasyo: No! it's not true, actually I just shouted my wife.

Kulas: Why?

Tasyo: She told me to iron our clothes! I shouted at her telling, "Wait until I've done cooking."


____________________________________________
2. BATI’G NAWNG NAOG

Driver: Palihug lang beh, katong mga bati’g nawng, naog na kay naay checkpoint sa unahan.

(Usa ka pasahero nitubag): Unya boss, kinsa nama’y mo-drive?

* English Version *

Driver: Excuse me people! those who are ugly looking can get down the vehicle now, there is a checkpoint ahead.

(One of the passengers says): But boss driver, who will take the wheel and drive?

__________________________________________


Makalingaw Makawala Sa Laay Bisdak Jokes

Laugh and laugh till you drop BISDAK Jokes

"Multo"
Anak: Tay, tinuod na ang multo?
Tatay: Dili 'nak, ngano man nakapangutana man ka?
Anak: Ingon man gud si Yaya daghang multo ngari!
Tatay: Yati rah! Mag impaki na ta nak, Wa man tay Yaya!

++Englis Version++
SON: Dad, is ghost real?
DAD: Nope! Why you ask?
SON: Cuz! Our housemaid said there are lots of ghost around here
DAD: WTF, go and pack up your things son, It’s bad we don’t have housemaid thou.

________________________________________________________________________
"Toa na"
Bana: love, promise sugod karon di na tika luiban. ako nang biyaan ang akong kabit
asawa: wow, tenk you love, ako sad promise, ang sunod natong anak, ikaw nay amahan. prom-ise jud!

++English Version++
HUSBAND: Love, I promise from now on I get lose with my mistress
WIFE: Wow, thank you love, me also promise, that next child I bare will be yours.
________________________________________________________________________
"Baril Kuno"
Security: excuse me po mam, titingnan ko lang ang bag nyo kung merong baril
tiguwang: buang ka! di man gani maigo ang balde sa akong bag, baril pa kaha!
++English Version++
BARIL = Gun
SECURITY: Excuse me maam, I will have to check your bag if there is gun.
GRANDMA: Are you crazy! I can’t even fit the bucket in my bag, how much more if barrels?



Install the funniest Bisdak Funniest Jokes on GOOGLE PLAY 

________________________________________________________________________
Busog “Full Tummy”

anak: ma, busog nako, dili nako mahurot
mama: hutda dyud na! kabaw baka nga daghan gipang gutom sa kalibutan?
anak: nya kung ako ni hutdon, mabusog sila?!

++English++
SON: Mother, I’m full, I can’t empty anymore these food.
MOTHER: Empty you’re food, don’t you know that many peo-ple are starving?
SON: Really! so it means If I empty it all, they become full stomach also?



Bisaya Pakatawa Funny Jokes

BISAYA JOKES ARE VERY FUNNY
We have several Bisaya jokes for you to learn and we translate it to English so it may be easier to understand. We want you to understand and learn how to speak and make Jokes in Bisaya dialect. Guarantee within no time you’ll speaking like we Bisaya do. Learn to Speak and Write Bisaya with Jokes


1. IN A CLASS
Bisaya:

YOU CAN’T STOP LAUGHING
TEACHER: Unsay atong pambansang Ibon?
BOY: Chicken?
TEACHER: Dili! brown ang kolor ani!
BOY: Fried chicken!
TEACHER: Dili! Mas gamay sa chick-en.
BOY: knoRR CHIcken cubes?
TEACHER: GAWAS!

English:
TEACHER: What is our national Bird?
BOY: Chicken?
TEACHER: No! it has brown color
BOY: Fried Chicken!
TEACHER: No! smaller than chicken
BOY: Knorr Chicken Cubes?
TEACHER: GET OUT!