Jokes that will make you laugh out loud
1. Pasyente lain ang IIyang kalibang / Patient having bowel problem
Payente: Dok naa ko problema murag di ko gakahilisan kung mo kaun kung mais, mais pa gihapon inig akong ikalibang. Mukaun kung mani, mani pa gihapon inig kalibang, mo kaun kog bayabas, bayabas pa gihapon akong ikalibang? unsa may akong buhaton dok?
Doc: simple ra na, kaun ug tae para tae na gyud imong ikalibang...
*English Version
Patient: Doc, I have a problem, whenever I eat corn my stool is still corn. And if ever I eat guava still guava will comes out. Doc what shall I do?
Doctor: Simple, eat shit instead surely shit will comes out.
2. Quote of confidence
Ayaw gyud hunahuna-a na bati ka'og Nawong. Hunahuna-a na isa ka na maanyag na unggoy.
Ayaw gyud hunahuna-a na bati ka'og Nawong. Hunahuna-a na isa ka na maanyag na unggoy.
**English Version*
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
๐
๐
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
๐๐3. Baraha / Playing Cards
JUAN: birthday sa akong asawa.
PEDRO: unsa imo gift?
JUAN: ask ko unsa iya gusto.
PEDRO: unsa man giingon?
JUAN: bisan unsa daw basta naa DIAMOND.
PEDRO: unsa imong gi hatag?
JUAN: BARAHA!!!!!
JUAN: Its my wife's birthday
PEDRO: So whats your gift to her?
JUAN: I've ask her what she likes
PEDRO: Then what she said?
JUAN: Anything that has diamond
PEDRO: And then what you give to her?
JUAN: Playing cards!!!
4. Your looks like a Monkey
BOTYOK: pre, ngano ingon ka nawong kog ungoy?
BRUNO: wa ko nag ingon na nawong kag ungoy,akong ingon ang ungoy parihog nawong nimo.
BOTYOK: aw lagi klaroha bah!
BRUNO: wa ko nag ingon na nawong kag ungoy,akong ingon ang ungoy parihog nawong nimo.
BOTYOK: aw lagi klaroha bah!
BOTYOK: Bro, why you told me that I look like a monkey?
BRUNO: I didnt say you like like a monkey, what I said is that the monkey looks like you!
BOTYOK: ร see Now, its clearer.
๐
BRUNO: I didnt say you like like a monkey, what I said is that the monkey looks like you!
BOTYOK: ร see Now, its clearer.
๐
Naa koy amiga si Gemma Eloc
Kaslonon sya ni Edgar Cabahug.
Wala madayon ilang kasal kay
wala sila kauyon sa invitation card:
"CABAHUG-ELOC nuptial"
Kaslonon sya ni Edgar Cabahug.
Wala madayon ilang kasal kay
wala sila kauyon sa invitation card:
"CABAHUG-ELOC nuptial"
English Version*
I have a friend named Gemma Eloc
Shes'going to be marred to Edgar Cabahug
The wedding is off, they didn't like the invitation card:it says
"CABAHUG-ELOC" "therefore in English "Bad smelling armpi
I have a friend named Gemma Eloc
Shes'going to be marred to Edgar Cabahug
The wedding is off, they didn't like the invitation card:it says
"CABAHUG-ELOC" "therefore in English "Bad smelling armpi
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