Learn The Bisaya Language: Bisaya Pakatawa Funny Jokes

BISAYA JOKES ARE VERY FUNNY

We have several Bisaya jokes for you to learn and we translate it to English so it may be easier to understand. We want you to understand and learn how to speak and make Jokes in Bisaya dialect. Guarantee within no time you’ll speaking like we Bisaya do. Learn to Speak and Write Bisaya with Jokes

1. IN A CLASS

Bisaya:

YOU CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

TEACHER: Unsay atong pambansang Ibon?

BOY: Chicken?

TEACHER: Dili! brown ang kolor ani!

BOY: Fried chicken!

TEACHER: Dili! Mas gamay sa chick-en.

BOY: knoRR CHIcken cubes?

TEACHER: GAWAS!

English:

TEACHER: What is our national Bird?

BOY: Chicken?

TEACHER: No! it has brown color

BOY: Fried Chicken!

TEACHER: No! smaller than chicken

BOY: Knorr Chicken Cubes?

TEACHER: GET OUT!

2. Bag-ong driver..

Bisaya:

Bag-ong driver..

Pedro: nganong magul-anon man lage ta ron..

Juan: kay ang akong asawa nag hired man gud og bag-ong driv-er nga batan-on unya gwapo pa jud.

Pedro: gaselos ka pre?

Juan: wala man pre, natingala lng ko kay wala man gud mi sakyanan.

English:

New Driver

Pedro: Why you look so down today?

Juan: My wife just hired a new driver that is young and single

Pedro: Are you jealous with him?

Juan: Nope, I just confused why she hired him, actually, we don’t have any vehicle.

3. Nasayop..

Bisaya:

Usa ka Bana Gipadala sa abroAd sa kompAnya..

pag-abot niya sa Hotel nagpadala dayon siya ug message sa iya asawa through text.

Nasayop siya pagpindot sa usa ka # ug didto nasend og nadawat sa byuda nga gikan pa naglubong sa iya bana

nakuyapan ang BYUDA pgkahuman og basa sa message: ” darling naabot na ko diri pagkanin-dot sa lugar, gusto ko e-uban ka diri kay gimingaw ko nimo ako sila gehangyo nga paapason ka diri sa labing dali nga panahon. ” hahaha! kinsay d makuyapan???

English:

One husband was sent to go abroad by the employer As he arrives in the Hotel he immedi-ately send text message to her wife.

However, he accidentally mistaken and sent the message in a wrong number, which the message was received by a widowed just recently buried his husband .

The widowed was stunned and col-lapse after reading the text message.

“My darling I just arrived in this beau-tiful place. I want you to follow me here cuz I really miss you, I already ask a favor to them to bring you here at the earliest as possible.

What a joke LOL.

4. Nasayop..

Bisaya:

NAKIT-AN NI JUAN, ANG IYANG TEACHER

“NAkit-an ni JUAN, Ang iyang Teacher nga nakatuLog, Iyang gidu-OL”

JUAN: Natulog ka Maam?

TEACHER: Wala!

JUAN: Unsa man diay imOng gibuhat Maam?

TEACHER: Gi-istorya nako ang GinoO

PAGKA UGMA

NAkit-an sa Teacher si JUAN nga nakatulog sa iyang Klase

TEACHER: Juan! Natulog kas akOng Klase?

JUAN: Wala!

TEACHER: Unsa man diay imOng gibuhat?!

JUAN: Gi-istorya nako ang GinoO

TEACHER: (Nasuko) Unya!!! Unsa may gi-engon sa GINOO?

JUAN: Ni-engOn ang GinoO nga “Wala daw mO nagka Istoryahay gahapOn!

English:

JUAN: You Sleep maam?

TEACHER: No.

JUAN: So, what are you doing maam?

TEACHER: I just pray and talk to God

THE DAY AFTER (Teacher found JUAN sleeping in her class)

TEACHER: JUAN! You’re sleeping in my class?

JUAN: No.

TEACHER: So, what you are doing?

JUAN: I talked to God

TEACHER: (UPSET) So! What God tells you?

JUAN: GOD said that “you did not talk to him yesterday”

5. Blender..

Bisaya:

Seloso nga bana nanawag sa iyang asawa.

BANA: Loves, asa man ka karon?

ASAWA: Naa rako sa balay.

BANA: mao ba? I-on daw ang blender be!

ASAWA: (gi on ang blend-er.Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeee)

BANA: Aw, Abi nako ug naglaag ka

(Taod2x nanawag na pod ang bana)

BANA: Loves, asa ka karon?

ASAWA: Naa ra lagi ko sa balay oi.

BANA: I -on daw ang blender be..(Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)

BANA: Kana ba para dili ta mag duda.

Ni uli ang bana nga wala nagpahi-balo og nakit-an sa gawas ang ilang anak)

BANA: Nak, asa man si Nanay nimo?

ANAK: Ambot Tay asa to siya padulong . Gidala man ang atong BLENDER!

English:

A jealous husband called her wife.

HUSBAND: Loves, where are you now?

WIFE: I’m in the house

HUSBAND: Really?, switch On the blend-er

WIFE (Switched On the blender, Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeee)

HUSBAND: Hmmp, I thought your go somewhere

After awhile HUSBAND call again

HUSBAND: Loves, again where are you ?

WIFE: I’m only here in the house

HUSBAND: Really?, switch On the blend-er

HUSBAND: That’s right, for that I would not think of something.

HUBSAND surprisingly got back home and saw their SON outside.

HUSBAND: Son, where is you’re Mother?

SON: I don't know where she went, I just saw her carrying the blender!

6. Dili Gwapa..

Bisaya:

Asawa: hon nganu ako man imo gepili nga dili man q gwapa

Bana: gwapa ka hon oi

Asawa: sure ka hon?

Bana: Uo gwapa ka hon, gikan tiil taman li-og

English:

WIFE: Honey why you choose me? I’m not that beautiful

HUSBAND: you’re beautiful Honey

WIFE: Is it true Honey?

HUSBAND: Yah sure you’re beautiful Honey, from toes to neck

7. Violin..

Bisaya:

Usa ka bisaya gi interview sa amercano.

Amercano: what can u say about violence in the Philippines?

Bisdak: ah! Di man gani ta kabalo mo gitara violence na nuon!

English:

One Bisaya interviewed by an American

American: what can u say about violence in the Philippines?

Bisaya: Ah! I can’t even play a guitar, how much more playing violin?

8. Violin..

Bisaya:

AMO: “Inday, natanggal na ba tong mancha sa akong uniporme?” INDAY: “O, Sir na tangtang na!” AMO: “Good! Unsay imong gipangtanggal?” INDAY: “Gi gunting ra!”

9. Gi gunting..

Bisaya:

AMO: “Inday, natanggal na ba tong mancha sa akong uniporme?”

INDAY: “O, Sir na tangtang na!” AMO:

AMO: “Good! Unsay imong gipangtanggal?”

INDAY: “Gi gunting ra!”

English:

BOSS: “Maid, is the stained in my uniform gone?

MAID: Yes Sir, it’s gone

BOSS: Good! What did you use to removed the stain?

INDAY : I used the scissors to removed the stain

10. Gi gunting..