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Super Funny Bisaya to English Jokes

You can't stop laughing Bisdak to English Jokes

A fast beating heart doesn't
always mean Love...
A blushing face is not always
a sign that your inlove
sometimes HUBOG LANG! hahaha

*Englih Version
What is Love
A fast beating heart doesn't\nalways mean Love...
A blushing face is not always
A sign that your inlove\nsometimes It's just drunk! hahaha

Lolo and Lola having their breakfast in bed after s3x.
Lola: Kahibaw ka handtod karun nanginit gihapon akong dughan.
Lolo: Alangan man og dili mo init imo 2toy na ka tunlob man sa kape,

English Version
Granpa and Grandma having their breakfast in bed after s3x.
Grandma: You know what my breast still in hit after what we did.
Granpa: Off course it still in hit look at your breast it touches the coffee you've drink.

Cofeee:\nGranpa and Grandma having their breakfast in bed after s3x.\nGrandma: You know what my breast still in hit after what we did.\nGranpa: Off course it still in hit look at your breast it touches the coffee you\'ve drink.

Isa ka adlaw usa ka lalaki na paskil of Ad sa classifieds: "Wife Wanted"
Kina ugmaan nakadawat og daghan sulat. Og parehus tanan ila sulti "Pwede akong asawa"

English Version*
A man inserted an "ad" in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."\nNext day he received a hundred letters.\nThey all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

Boy: "70 grado naku sa math"
Father: "Nganu man"
Boy: "Ang maestra nisulti pila 3 x 2, ingun ko "6"
Father: "Btaw sakto man!"
Boy: "Human nangutan napod siya usab 2 x 3?"
Father: "Unsa man diay kalahian ana?"
Boy: "Mao btaw pod na ako tubag!"

English Vesrion*
Boy: "I got an F in arithmetic."
Father: "Why?"
Boy: "The teacher asked 'How much is 2×3?' and I said '6'"
Father: "But that's right!"
Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3×2?'"
Father: "What's the fucking difference?"
Boy: "That's exactly what I said!"

Boyet: Taga-an ka naku og 10 Pesos kun makasaka kadinha sa flagpole
Inday: OO cg
Inday: Ma Ma kadtong bata gi tagaan ko 10 Pesos pasak-on rako sa flagpole
Mama: Naunsa man ka na, mi lantaw to sa imo panty.
-Pagka ugma-
Boyet: Gaan tika 20 Pesos kun makasaka ka dinha sa flagpole
Inday: Oo ba!
Inday: Ma Ma kadto bata gi gaan ko 20 Pesos pasak-on sa flagpole, pero karun ako siyang naisahan, kay nisaka ko wala ko ga panty.
Mama: BUTANGI!

*English Version
Boy: I'll pay you 10 bucks to climb up the flagpole.
Girl: ok.(climbs the flagpole)
Girl: Mommy Mommy a boy paid me 10 bucks to climb the flagpole. Mom: He just wanted to see your underwear!
...Next Day...
(Same boy): I'll pay you 20 BUCKS to climb the flagpole!
Girl: OK thanks! (climbs the flagpole)
Girl: Mommy Mommy today the boy paid me 20 BUCKS for climbing the flagpole, but today I tricked him this time I wasn't wearing underwear.
Mom:...

2 Schoolmates joking and teasing

2 Schoolmates joking and teasing

“Duha ka lalaki”
Dunky: Dingdong, pang exam man kayo na emong ngipon..
Dingdong: Ha? Ngano man?
Dunky: One set apart hehehe…
Dingdong: Kana pud emong ngipon bai pang exam pud kayo
Dunky: Ngano man pud?
Dingdong: Feel in the blanks..

*English Version*
Two Schoolmate joking and teasing
Peter: your teeth is like our exams
Bruno: How come why?
Peter: see your teeth is "on seat apart"
Bruno: Same as yours
Peter: and why?
Bruno: your teeth is like "Feel in the blanks"

Stupid Bisdak Funny Jokes


Jokes that will make you laugh out loud

1. Pasyente lain ang IIyang kalibang / Patient having bowel problem

Payente: Dok naa ko problema murag di ko gakahilisan kung mo kaun kung mais, mais pa gihapon inig akong ikalibang. Mukaun kung mani, mani pa gihapon inig kalibang, mo kaun kog bayabas, bayabas pa gihapon akong ikalibang? unsa may akong buhaton dok?


Doc: simple ra na, kaun ug tae para tae na gyud imong ikalibang...

*English Version
Patient: Doc, I have a problem, whenever I eat corn my stool is still corn. And if ever I eat guava still guava will comes out. Doc what shall I do? 

Doctor: Simple, eat shit instead surely shit will comes out.


2. Quote of confidence
Ayaw gyud hunahuna-a na bati ka'og Nawong. Hunahuna-a na isa ka na maanyag na unggoy.
**English Version*
Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.😆😄




3. Baraha / Playing Cards
JUAN: birthday sa akong asawa.
PEDRO: unsa imo gift?
JUAN: ask ko unsa iya gusto.
PEDRO: unsa man giingon?
JUAN: bisan unsa daw basta naa DIAMOND.
PEDRO: unsa imong gi hatag?
JUAN: BARAHA!!!!!

JUAN: Its my wife's birthday
PEDRO: So whats your gift to her?
JUAN: I've ask her what she likes
PEDRO: Then what she said?
JUAN: Anything that has diamond
PEDRO: And then what you give to her?
JUAN: Playing cards!!!



4. Your looks like a Monkey


BOTYOK: pre, ngano ingon ka nawong kog ungoy?
BRUNO: wa ko nag ingon na nawong kag ungoy,akong ingon ang ungoy parihog nawong nimo.
BOTYOK: aw lagi klaroha bah!

BOTYOK: Bro, why you told me that I look like a monkey?
BRUNO: I didnt say you like like a monkey, what I said is that the monkey looks like you!
BOTYOK: Í see Now, its clearer.😎





Naa koy amiga si Gemma Eloc
Kaslonon sya ni Edgar Cabahug.
Wala madayon ilang kasal kay
wala sila kauyon sa invitation card:
"CABAHUG-ELOC nuptial"
English Version*
I have a friend named Gemma Eloc
Shes'going to be marred to Edgar Cabahug
The wedding is off, they didn't like the invitation card:it says
"CABAHUG-ELOC" "therefore in English "Bad smelling armpi

Lain Napod na Bisdak Jokes - Very Funny Bisaya Jokes

Makalingaw makawala sa laay


1. ANDIR-DI-SAYA

Kulas: Bay Tasyo, matod sa mga silingan andir-di-saya man kuno ka.

Tasyo: Unsay andir-di-saya nga bag-o lang nakong gikasab-an ang akong misis!

Kulas: Ngano man?

Tasyo: Gisugo man ko niya sa pamalantsa. Mao nga akong gisinghagan ug UNYA RA KAY MAGLUTO PA KO!!

* English Version *

Kulas: Bro Tasyo, our neighbor said that you're frighten and scared with your wife!, It's that true? 

Tasyo: No! it's not true, actually I just shouted my wife.

Kulas: Why?

Tasyo: She told me to iron our clothes! I shouted at her telling, "Wait until I've done cooking."


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2. BATI’G NAWNG NAOG

Driver: Palihug lang beh, katong mga bati’g nawng, naog na kay naay checkpoint sa unahan.

(Usa ka pasahero nitubag): Unya boss, kinsa nama’y mo-drive?

* English Version *

Driver: Excuse me people! those who are ugly looking can get down the vehicle now, there is a checkpoint ahead.

(One of the passengers says): But boss driver, who will take the wheel and drive?

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Makalingaw Makawala Sa Laay Bisdak Jokes

Laugh and laugh till you drop BISDAK Jokes

"Multo"
Anak: Tay, tinuod na ang multo?
Tatay: Dili 'nak, ngano man nakapangutana man ka?
Anak: Ingon man gud si Yaya daghang multo ngari!
Tatay: Yati rah! Mag impaki na ta nak, Wa man tay Yaya!

++Englis Version++
SON: Dad, is ghost real?
DAD: Nope! Why you ask?
SON: Cuz! Our housemaid said there are lots of ghost around here
DAD: WTF, go and pack up your things son, It’s bad we don’t have housemaid thou.

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"Toa na"
Bana: love, promise sugod karon di na tika luiban. ako nang biyaan ang akong kabit
asawa: wow, tenk you love, ako sad promise, ang sunod natong anak, ikaw nay amahan. prom-ise jud!

++English Version++
HUSBAND: Love, I promise from now on I get lose with my mistress
WIFE: Wow, thank you love, me also promise, that next child I bare will be yours.
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"Baril Kuno"
Security: excuse me po mam, titingnan ko lang ang bag nyo kung merong baril
tiguwang: buang ka! di man gani maigo ang balde sa akong bag, baril pa kaha!
++English Version++
BARIL = Gun
SECURITY: Excuse me maam, I will have to check your bag if there is gun.
GRANDMA: Are you crazy! I can’t even fit the bucket in my bag, how much more if barrels?



Install the funniest Bisdak Funniest Jokes on GOOGLE PLAY 

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Busog “Full Tummy”

anak: ma, busog nako, dili nako mahurot
mama: hutda dyud na! kabaw baka nga daghan gipang gutom sa kalibutan?
anak: nya kung ako ni hutdon, mabusog sila?!

++English++
SON: Mother, I’m full, I can’t empty anymore these food.
MOTHER: Empty you’re food, don’t you know that many peo-ple are starving?
SON: Really! so it means If I empty it all, they become full stomach also?